I had a cunning plan.
If I left the vacuum cleaner out, in a conspicuous spot before going to bed, I'd be bound to notice it, or at least trip over it, in the morning, thereby reminding my brain that the house needed to be vacuumed.
It didn't work. I like a clean house as much as anybody, but there are so many more interesting things to do, and I am easily distracted. I did glimpse it as I emerged from the bedroom next morning, but quickly averted my gaze, stepping daintily around it en route to the kitchen. I think I heard it sigh as I passed by. Giving heartfelt thanks to the gods for inventing coffee, I sped to the sewing room before my eyes could land on the vacuum cleaner again and guilt could set in. My cunning plan, and the vacuum cleaner, would have to wait. I was on a mission. I'd make something for Miss Oris, who had, after all, just had a birthday. Because I am such an accomplished procrastinator, I had not sent her card, never mind a present.
When the Prince died last summer (may he rest in peace) Miss Oriss carted three large storage bins from his house, where she had been staying with him, to my sewing room..... yards and yards of beautiful quilting fabric. Miss Oris loves fabric. She loves to buy it, and stroke it, unfold it, admire it, fold it again and store it in pretty, see-through storage bins. The one thing that strikes terror into her heart is the prospect of actually cutting into it and sewing something. She leaves that to me. So since she was returning to her home up north, and her fabric collection was too extensive and heavy to lug with her, it came to live with me.
"Use it, " she said airily, waving in the direction of the towering stack of storage bins. "Take and use whatever you like," and off she went to the north where she busied herself shoveling snow and ----can you believe it? Buying more fabric! She needs a twelve step program and an immersion course in cutting and stitching. And a chip implanted behind her ear that will sound the alarm if she steps inside another quilt shop. Oy!
Anyway. Having successfully sidestepped the vacuum cleaner, I spent the next three hours making an apron from a panel she had in one of the bins. She even had coffee bean fabric so I made it reversible. And couldn't keep a big old grin off my face. I just love making stuff!
She called today.
"You shouldn't have," she said.
It was fun," I replied.
"And besides, we need to sew more, and faster, if we're to make inroads before we die."
That's when she 'fessed up.
"Actually," she said in a very small voice, "I bought more fabric the other day."
Three steps forward and four back!
Up next: Twelve step program for fabric maniacs.....
But first I must go and appease the vacuum cleaner, which has abandonment issues.