Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Our Gentleman Caller....Maybe?




Our neighbours, Bird-Legs-Bob and The Russian Bride, have a large woolly cat. His name, we think, is Caesar.Their house is hidden from ours by fairly dense foliage, brush, and trees, and they keep very much to themselves. Their cat, however, makes the rounds every evening. He stalks about in a manner worthy of his Patrician name. Our cat, Casper, is insanely jealous of such freedom to wander, being himself a house and pool-deck cat only. Since he is the biggest chicken on God's green earth, his notions of Great-White-Hunter-hood are all in his head. He is snow white and highly visible. We figure if he were wandering about outside, it'd only be a matter of time before one of the large owls that "whoo-whoos" from the trees out back would swoop down and scoop him up for dinner. How happy their babies would be if Papa brought home such a tasty morsel! So Casper doesn't get to wander. He's confined behind the pool cage, his sense of adventure cruelly thwarted (or so he thinks.)

When Caesar first came visiting, Casper was aghast----

"Oh My goodness! Another creature with four legs! And fur! And a tail! What can this mean?"

I think this may have been his first inkling that the six foot four inch, two legged Bean, was not actually his brother, but a different species altogether who just happened to enjoy wrestling with him and hanging out.

Caesar, having got Casper's attention, would throw his considerable and elegant bulk down on the warm bricks by the barbecue and proceed to look inscrutable. He might have been whispering to Casper, through the pool cage, about the adventures to be had in the woods by a cat with the cojones for it.(Casper was relieved of his at a very young age.)





Caesar: "Betcha don't even know what a mouse looks like, ya pansy! Let alone a rat."

Casper, with an involuntary shiver quivering along the ridge of his spine: "I would go out there except for the owls. According to my humans, they're very hungry and extremely large.  And partial to pussy cats."

Caesar: "Nah. Them owls don't bother me! Let 'em try somethin'....See these claws? My pride an' joy. Sharpen 'em every day on them logs your Bean piled up over there."

Whatever whispering was or was not going on, Casper would sit and watch his debonair visitor with nervous admiration, wishing with all his heart he was as big and fearless and worldly wise. They'd sit there companionably, on either side of the screen, until either Caesar got bored, rose to his feet with a languid stretch and sauntered off, with a "See ya later" over his shoulder to Casper.....or.....a loud noise from someone driving by on the street would startle Casper, the lily-livered one, and he'd make a mad dash back into the safety of the house.




Caesar has been coming over around six each evening. He stops at the cage door and calls----

"Rowl! Rowl! Roooowl!"

No matter where he is in the house, Casper speeds to the door, keeping himself low to the ground in stealth mode, and dashes over to greet his friend. Today Caesar had a lot to say. Casper listened attentively.  (I was spying from the doorway. If I take a step in his direction Caesar suddenly remembers he has business elsewhere.) As I stood there watching the exchange Caesar turned and waggled his (??) hindquarters at Casper.....Whaaat?

One can't help speculating.

Is Caesar courting Casper?

Is he unaware that Casper is a boy? Well, he's got boy parts. They just don't work......

And then a startling thought occurred.


Could Caesar be a girl? A very husky, gravelly-voiced girl, saying to Casper not

"Betcha don't know one end of a mouse from the other, ya pansy!"

But rather, in her sexiest, gravelliest, come-hitheriest voice .....

"Hey big fella! Why doncha act like a man, break outta that screen and take a girl for a waltz in the woods!"

It is Spring after all.

Rowl.....

17 comments:

Relatively Retiring said...

What a great story of a meeting of minds......and now possibly of bodies too? Perhaps you misheard 'Susie' as 'Caesar'?
Please keep us posted.

Joan said...

Or "Sheila"? (S)He's barking up the wrong tree!

Lee said...

I love this story - what a pair of beauties they are!

Remy, my male cat is here reading it, too! He'll tell his sister all about it later!

Mine are inside cats, too...only going outside for about half hour each morning...sometimes less. A fellow was outside today fixing the water pump...and they, my two furry rascals, knew before I did that he was there...and not only him, but he had a DOG with him!!! I think they've only seen one dog before in their lives!!!! lol But they knew he wasn't one of their clan!

The Elephant's Child said...

Both very beautiful indeed. And I love that they are friends.

Our Jazz is very brave behind glass and talks up a storm. He also flings himself at the screen door shouting insults at the cat who DARES to walk on his veranda. This is the same cat who growls (very loudly) and scuttles away with his belly to the ground if we receive visitors. And then hides in our wardrobe until the coast is clear. So Casper is not the biggest chicken at all - it is big brave Jazz.

Isabelle said...

Our two go outside all right but when the doorbell goes, they're under the table in the corner. Strangely they don't move a whisker when the phone rings. They're not as daft as they look.

Hilarious post!

(No, not after Auntie Laura. Louisa. Don't know where that came from but we're getting used to it.)

persiflage said...

Sounds as though it is time you started a conversation with the neighbours....

dianne said...

i needed a good laugh this morning!

maybe Caesar is gender-confused ... or a big old flirt with nothing to lose

Thimbleanna said...

You're too funny! Perhaps you need to change his name to Cleopatra? It's so sad though -- maybe their in love. Awwwww.....

(And I love Baby L's new name too.)

Thimbleanna said...

THEY'RE! Sheesh!

Susan Kane said...

Caesar is probably missing his/her parts as well, so sex is safe for the lot.

We had a neighborhood cat who was identical to our black Scuba. They stared at each from their respective sides of the glass. When our son took Scuba away with him, that poor cat still came by and gazed longingly through the glass.

Caspar and Caesar: the sequel?

Ali Honey said...

Oh poor puss. He has a target on the back of his head - that's a worry!

Stomper Girl said...

That is lovely that they have this regular friendship, warmed my heart. Hope Caesar isn't plotting to bust Caspar out of kitty-gaol.

Secret Agent Woman said...

Whether Caesar is there as a suitor or a buddy, it's a terribly sweet story. I love that they've formed such a bond and like to be near each other.

(ha - my word verification is famerica 2222)

Wisewebwoman said...

I think there's always a draw between species who do not have the chance to socialize, I see it with my dog all the time.

"love me! play! here's my bum!"

Then again Caesar could be gay.

Love the story!

XO
WWW

Denice Barker said...

Molly, I replied to your comment on my post with Anna...did you get it? It was a "no-reply" so don't know if I can reply back to you. Send me your email and I will if you didn't get it.
"Thanks"

Pauline said...

Render unto Caesar...

I'll be in FL the 30th of March through the 6th of April, in Bradenton...

try pclarke122athotmaildotcom

riseoutofme said...

Reckon Caesar is a foxy girly cat ... Render unto Caesar etc...
Reminiscent of ancient Rome .. feeding the slaves to the lions ...
Rowl ...Not sure the bould Caspar would know what to do even if his luck was in ...Life aint fair ...Rowl ...