Our neighbours, Bird-Legs-Bob and The Russian Bride, have a large woolly cat. His name, we think, is Caesar.Their house is hidden from ours by fairly dense foliage, brush, and trees, and they keep very much to themselves. Their cat, however, makes the rounds every evening. He stalks about in a manner worthy of his Patrician name. Our cat, Casper, is insanely jealous of such freedom to wander, being himself a house and pool-deck cat only. Since he is the biggest chicken on God's green earth, his notions of Great-White-Hunter-hood are all in his head. He is snow white and highly visible. We figure if he were wandering about outside, it'd only be a matter of time before one of the large owls that "whoo-whoos" from the trees out back would swoop down and scoop him up for dinner. How happy their babies would be if Papa brought home such a tasty morsel! So Casper doesn't get to wander. He's confined behind the pool cage, his sense of adventure cruelly thwarted (or so he thinks.)
When Caesar first came visiting, Casper was aghast----
"Oh My goodness! Another creature with four legs! And fur! And a tail! What can this mean?"
I think this may have been his first inkling that the six foot four inch, two legged Bean, was not actually his brother, but a different species altogether who just happened to enjoy wrestling with him and hanging out.
Caesar, having got Casper's attention, would throw his considerable and elegant bulk down on the warm bricks by the barbecue and proceed to look inscrutable. He might have been whispering to Casper, through the pool cage, about the adventures to be had in the woods by a cat with the cojones for it.(Casper was relieved of his at a very young age.)
Caesar: "Betcha don't even know what a mouse looks like, ya pansy! Let alone a rat."
Casper, with an involuntary shiver quivering along the ridge of his spine: "I would go out there except for the owls. According to my humans, they're very hungry and extremely large. And partial to pussy cats."
Caesar: "Nah. Them owls don't bother me! Let 'em try somethin'....See these claws? My pride an' joy. Sharpen 'em every day on them logs your Bean piled up over there."
Whatever whispering was or was not going on, Casper would sit and watch his debonair visitor with nervous admiration, wishing with all his heart he was as big and fearless and worldly wise. They'd sit there companionably, on either side of the screen, until either Caesar got bored, rose to his feet with a languid stretch and sauntered off, with a "See ya later" over his shoulder to Casper.....or.....a loud noise from someone driving by on the street would startle Casper, the lily-livered one, and he'd make a mad dash back into the safety of the house.
Caesar has been coming over around six each evening. He stops at the cage door and calls----
"Rowl! Rowl! Roooowl!"
No matter where he is in the house, Casper speeds to the door, keeping himself low to the ground in stealth mode, and dashes over to greet his friend. Today Caesar had a lot to say. Casper listened attentively. (I was spying from the doorway. If I take a step in his direction Caesar suddenly remembers he has business elsewhere.) As I stood there watching the exchange Caesar turned and waggled his (??) hindquarters at Casper.....Whaaat?
One can't help speculating.
Is Caesar courting Casper?
Is he unaware that Casper is a boy? Well, he's got boy parts. They just don't work......
And then a startling thought occurred.
Could Caesar be a girl? A very husky, gravelly-voiced girl, saying to Casper not
"Betcha don't know one end of a mouse from the other, ya pansy!"
But rather, in her sexiest, gravelliest, come-hitheriest voice .....
"Hey big fella! Why doncha act like a man, break outta that screen and take a girl for a waltz in the woods!"
It is Spring after all.