Friday, May 01, 2015

Resurrecting the Muse




So, here I am, creeping back, wearing my best SEG.  And you thought I'd died, or gone off exploring in the southern hemisphere, or organic farming in California, or backpacking around Europe, or teaching Eskimos to dance, or hiding out with The Little Blister in the west of Ireland, or holed up in an attic somewhere writing my masterpiece?

None of the above, as exciting as all, or any of them, would be. I'm just here, treading water, remembering to breathe and stretch regularly,  staying out of trouble, eating blueberries, stitching on the never-ending quilt of the moment, taking photographs of course, reading and not writing.

 "Aye, there's the rub."

Not writing.

 The whole idea of this blog was to write, and for a while it worked. Sometimes it was mindless blather, but once in a while it gave me the beginnings of a story. But then the negative thinking set in ---  what does the world care about the ravings of a half-mad Irish woman living in Florida? Isn't that where Americans go to die?What could she possibly have to say? There might have been a bit of laziness involved.  And one should never discount the paralyzing effect of family drama on the writing gene. My family, if nothing else, is dramatic. So, write about the drama you say? I could, but after you read it I'd have to kill you. Wouldn't want Jerry Springer to come calling. Of course I'm exaggerating, but still......

 I remember the best writing advice I read as a teenager, casting about for what to write to pen pals in France, Holland, Germany and America after the initial, sometimes disastrous, efforts to communicate in anything other than English. La plume de ma tante only gets you so far; and wo ist die Bahnhof might get you to the Bahnhof but not a helluva lot further. You don't have to write about solutions to weighty problems that the universe is holding its breath for, the advice went; you don't have to solve world hunger or the global population crisis, much as you'd like to; you don't have to personally go to Tallahassee and smack Governor Scott upside the head. You just sit down with your pen and write about what happened today, in your garden, at the grocery store, or at the library; what you heard or read there and what it made you think; how it made you laugh, how it produced a tiny "aha!" in your brain. And if the blank page still intimidates you, you write whatever comes into your head, one word after the other, hat, cat, bat, even if they make no sense. After a while the gears start turning and things start to sound, if not exactly brilliant, at least semi-coherent.

 That's the theory.  But there's a catch, simple sounding but not so simple. To implement it you have to actually drag your procrastinating nether regions to the chair in front of the computer and start pushing buttons. Now I'm good at pushing buttons, ask anyone, but not necessarily the ones that result in a piece of writing after the pushing is done. You'd be gob smacked at the multitude of ways I find to avoid sitting down with that pen, or in front of that computer, with my blinkers on. 

So, you want to write, goes the voice in my head.
Yes, you know I do.
Well then, pour a cup of coffee, sit down in front of the computer --- and start!
I will, but first.....
 .......I have to make the bed (heaven forbid the queen of England should stop in for a spot of tea and glimpse this mess through the living room door.)
........And I really should go to the grocery store, the cupboard is bare and the dog is hungry.
 What dog? says the voice, astounded.
Why are you annoying me with logic? I ask. Logic has no place in this argument.
........Oh, and would you look at that dust. You could grow spuds in that...my mother-in-law, rest her dear departed soul, must be spinning in her grave.....
........And I almost forgot about that button that fell out six months ago. It's imperative that I sew it back on  right now.
Sounds like a bunch of wishy-washy excuses to me, says the voice huffily, like you really don't want to write.
Oh but I do! I do! It's just that blah, blah, blah....by now that voice in my head has nodded off and the only noise in there is the sound of gentle snoring.

So, hat in hand, I'm back. I'm going to write in May.(Listen to that resolve all ye doubters!)
 In the first flush of enthusiasm I was aiming for every day. "Seriously?" I said to myself. "Might as well shoot yourself in the foot now and get it over with."  I will write every day, but a new post every day? Hardly. If I write will you read? Early days in this blog I used to tell myself I was writing for me. Ha! There's no fool like the fool who lies to himself! 

 It's always better if someone reads. 

18 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

Welcome back.
As a confirmed readaholic I will assuredly read. And cheer or jeer from the sidelines as appropriate.

Marigold Jam said...

Sounds familiar! Yes I'll read what you write - saves me writing myself!!

persiflage said...

Yes, do write. I have missed your lively and thought provoking posts. And I too have been a bit lost for subjects, and have been feeling that I have run out of interesting and original thoughts. Bloggers need to spRk off each other.

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Do you remember Listen With Mother on the radio and how it began every day ....
"Are you sitting comfortably ? Then I'll begin ...."

Well , we're all patiently gathered in a circle, do please start .

gz said...

Another welcome here.
Blogging regularly can be difficult, even when the muse is about. Then the moment is gone, and writing about it is stilted...so you stop until the next time but you get busy....

Denice Barker said...

I read.

Sabine said...

I read too.

Pam (Isabelle) said...

I would read if you provided any reading material!

Gillie said...

And I would too, I have missed you, Miss Molly, though to be fair, I've not done much better.......

Molly Bon said...

Such loyalty. Not deserved, after disappearing without a trace for most of this year, but greatly appreciated!

EC --- and I will listen, attentively, especially to the jeers as they are more instructive than reams of plawmahs.

MJ --- no, no! Wrong answer. You need to keep writing too!

Persi --- Isn't it the truth? Sometimes I think my brain is turning into a lump of smelly cheese....

S&S --- I don't remember Listen With Mother but I do remember sitting by the radio and listening to The School Around the Corner!

gz --- that's why I keep buying notebooks that will fit in my purse --- but then I forget to put them in there.

DB --- I think, because many of us don't live where we grew up, we seek human connection where we can find it. And we all need it to stay sane. And I DO love to write!

So, thanks everyone!.

Molly Bon said...

Welcome Sabine! Glad you took the time....

Pam --- FB just doesn't do it for me, but here I am, still kicking.

Gillie --- I agree, we all seem to have blogging droughts!

Lee said...

Well, I for one look forward to reading the musings of a "half-mad Irish woman living in Florida"...even the ravings of a fully-mad Irish woman living in Florida!

I've been keeping an keen eye out and alert to see when you were going to reappear, Molly...and finally, here you are! And welcome back to you...you were missed!

I just toss Logic out the window...or door...when it comes knocking when uninvited. I'll not let it tell me what to do and what not to do, when all I want to do is sit down at my computer and write (or ramble)! To hell with Logic, I reckon! Ignoring it is the most logical thing for me to do!

So keep pushing those buttons, my good woman...you'll not be amazed at what they will create from the thoughts they steal from your mind. :)

Toffeeapple said...

Another readaholic here too, you write m'dear and I shall read.

StitchinByTheLake said...

You write...I read...whatever it might be. :) blessings, marlene

Molly Bon said...

Lee --- I actually am a logical person, at least in my own opinion. I can also read maps, again in my own opinion. These opinions are not necessarily shared by those around me.

Toffeeapple --- glad to find you here but I cannot find your blog....??

Marlene --- Glad to see you again. Must visit and see what stitchin' you have for me to drool over...

Thimbleanna said...

Well ... Looky Here!!! You're Back -- YAYYYY! I, personally, was voting for the running around with The Blister theory of your whereabouts. I hope, at least, a little bit of that happened in your absence. I'll certainly be here waiting to read!!!

dianne said...

if you write it, i will read...

Secret Agent Woman said...

I used to write all the time and now have little time for writing or reading blogs. I keep up as best I can but now it's more for the community of it.

What's an SEG?