Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Casper's Advice

Casper, is a sociable fellow. If I'm in the kitchen, he hangs out nearby, in the family room. If I'm sewing, he strolls in, tail aloft, and curls into a ball on a stool by the window, killing two birds with one stone---sunshine and company. Or, if I'm working on a quilt,he'll position himself, with a languid stretch, in the middle of it.[He thinks I make them solely for that purpose.] So,it's a no-brainer. If I'm on the computer he's right there at my feet, snoozing away companionably, or frequently, in my lap, having a blog read right along with me.

In this way he became aware that there are kittens out there. At Isabelle's, to be exact. So for the past week he's been giving me no peace. He wants a shot at being a guest blogger. What can I say? This animal is my roommate, friend, confidante, cuddler, and comforter. It would be churlish to refuse. Without further ado, here's Casper,cat extraordinaire.



"Greetings Bloggers! She [who must be humoured] thinks I'm suddenly interested in blogging. Not so. Blogging makes me yawn. But, sitting on her lap recently, I caught a glimpse of some very fetching kittens, which made me sit up and pay attention. I am of the opinion that kittens get way too little advice from grown up cats,and I would like to rectify that situation for Sirius and Cassie, by giving them the benefit of my own experience.

People like to think they own us cats. They even think they can train us. Harmless myths. Ones you might want to play along with in the interests of keeping them happy. Just as long as you never forget that it is you who own them, and you who need to make sure that they are properly trained.

The most important things in a cat's life, I'm sure you will both agree, are, food, comfort, grooming, playtime, comfort, clean litter, comfort, more food, and the biggies, relaxation and sleep. Oh, and in case I forgot to mention it, comfort.

Food is essential. Without it you will never grow into the lithe, graceful, creatures you are meant to be. You should establish at the outset, that you will not settle for just any food. Make sure they provide you with a varied diet. If, every time you come to your dish, with a great hunger on you, and find there the same boring old dry food, be brave. Stalk away in disdain, even though you feel faint. This will worry them enough that they will go to the store and fetch something new,with which to tempt you. This behaviour should be reinforced, perhaps by a little reward, such as, after you have partaken of the new delicacy, climbing into a lap, and purring appreciatively. They will be charmed with you and will know how to respond the next time you turn your nose up at the offerings in your dish.

Early in your life with your people you should ascertain which are the most comfortable chairs and claim them as your own. This may take some perseverance, but the results will be worth it. The first time he comes home from work and finds you curled up in his favourite chair, the man of the house is likely to be grumpy, and perhaps even go so far as to shove you off. By acting injured and hurt by this ungentlemanly behaviour you can win other members of the family to your side. Enough "Poor kitty!"s and "How could you Dad's," and you'll be well on your way to ownership of that chair. Of course you don't want to alienate him altogether. After all, he is labouring under the illusion that it is his house. It might be best to try to work out a compromise wherein you share the chair.


People are naive. When they are new to cat co-habitation they have no idea of what fun we can have with ordinary things. Lace curtains, fluttering in the breeze, for instance, are there to be climbed. The tantalising wiggle of yarn, as the lady in your life works on her knitting, is an invitation to a romp, with the aim of getting deliciously tangled in it. We practice our hunting skills by capering after the shadows cast by sunlight on walls, and by stalking every bug who has the temerity to crawl across the carpet. Paper sacks from the grocery store make the greatest hiding places. And boxes. Insist that they keep a variety of boxes around for you to play hide and seek in. Likewise baskets. Who can resist an adorable kitten curled up in a basket? However, they should be of high quality, not those substandard objects sold as "cat beds." Settle only for the handmade variety..... They'll buy "toys" for you, but feel free to ignore them. It will finally dawn on them to put a little creative effort into your toys. A feather, for instance, can provide hours of enjoyment. And who would want a store bought "mouse" when a much better creature can be achieved with some good quality fur and a piece of string?

Sleeping arrangements are another thorny subject. My own mistress has a very comfy down comforter on her bed. My favourite place to sleep at night is on this comforter, exactly where her feet are. Which makes her cranky, so I am sometimes forced to move, temporarily, to another part of the bed. I just wait until her breathing sounds deep and even. Then reposition myself, if not on, then right next to, her feet.

If, when morning comes, your people are not rising with sufficient alacrity, you can approach the problem in one of several ways. My own first resort is to approach the sleeping head on it's pillow, find the nose, and give it a gentle nudge. If this doesn't work, repeat, a little more forcefully. But proceed with caution. They tend to be difficult to reason with before they have that first cup of coffee. If you're still not getting the desired results, remove yourself to the door of the room, and yowl piteously. Just be ready to dodge flying slippers. Persistence again, is key. You will soon have them dancing to your tune.

One last thing worth mentioning. It's okay to love your people. As long as you do it with dignity. No dog-like slobbering please. And remember to maintain an air of mystery, like me......


.....just to keep them guessing.

Well bloggers, this has been exhausting, but I felt I had a duty to kittendom.I may not have covered everything, but I've made a start. Happy romping,Cassie and Sirius, and please let my mistress know if you have any questions. I will be available again right after I take my afternoon nap. As I mentioned earlier, blogging makes me yawn."

There you have it folks. From Casper's mouth to the kittens' ears. Who knew he would be so long-winded? Cassie and Sirius probably dropped off for a nap after the first paragraph. But it'll all be here on the blog when they have questions.......


Postscript: A comment from Thimbleanna sent me scurrying to her blog to do some intensive snooping. Got caught up reading, and so was taken by surprise when I scrolled back some more---to her June 26 th. post and there looking out at me was a gorgeous relative of Casper's! Scruff, by name. Go check it out. I swear I had no idea! Great minds indeed!

19 comments:

Liz said...

A lovely resource. Casper's so regal.

Thimbleanna said...

Molly, er Casper, this is just TOO funny. And proof that great blogging cat minds think alike. You must meet Scruff because 1) he looks like he could be your brother, and 2) he's offered Sirius and Cassie advice of his own. Casper, my dear, you must be wiser and older, however, as your advice is much more eloquent!

mjd said...

Nice to meet you Casper. The picture of you behind the lace curtain is paticularly fetching.

Aunty Evil said...

Casper, you beautiful thing!

sMC said...

Twinsey here....using the Slaves blogline......you are indeed a beauty, my son. I have added a couple of photos of me and my mum on the old gal's blog.

daysgoby said...

Beautiful pictures!

meggie said...

Oh Casper So handsome! No wonder he gets whatever he wants!

winithupoo said...

Molly -- so glad you met Scruffy! I could tell you hadn't met -- especially since I had just, a few posts ago, found your blog. That's what makes your post so much more incredible! Could you believe how much Scruff and Casper look alike? All white with patches on their heads and dark tails. They could be twins of their own. Although, I must say, it looks like you're taking better care of Casper -- Scruffy is becoming somewhat Rotund -- he needs to be put on a diet! And I forgot to tell you last time -- I love the picture of Casper "behind the veil". ;-) Kind of like the Wizard of Oz -- dispensing his sage wisdom and advice from behind a curtain!

Thimbleanna said...

Oops! Not sure why it put winithupoo up there -- should be thimbleanna! Sorry!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I'm sure that Casper has taken Truffle lessons. She has never lost sight of the fact that she is not our pet, we are her staff.

She has some very creative ways to get me up at 5:00 a.m. when her first hunger pangs hit. Or perhaps they are boredom pangs, as a perusal of her bowls always discloses uneaten food already there. Which is irrelevant, of course.

Anyway, it's so nice to meet Casper. He writes exceedingly well and would do a human proud.

riseoutofme said...

Well, now, we know.

The Mollybawn has finally LOST it.

The cat rules.

O.K.

(That is O.K. isn't it, Casper?)

Stomper Girl said...

I had a cat who would push open my eyelids (very gently) with his paw if I slept too long. And my next cat's idea of maximum comfort was to sleep ON MY HEAD at night. And I'm such a heavy sleeper he got away with it.

Please scratch Casper under the chin for me.

My float said...

Oh how beautiful is Casper, very queenly!

This story made me laugh...

olechko said...

what a lovely kitty!

david santos said...

Beautiful kat, thank you

Tanya Brown said...

I do like literate cats. A meow is a terrible thing to waste.

Princess Banter said...

Awww that is just way too cute! Heehee... I don't have a pet cat but there's a stray cat always lingering in front of my apartment. I used to not like cats at all but it's been 2 years, I think I'm growing fond of the bugger ;)

tracey petersen said...

A highly articulate cat!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Hi Molly,

I have given you an award. Please come by for details.