Monday, May 19, 2008

Not Talking to the Cat

Most Likely Suspect

Washing cat barf out of the largest quilt I've ever made was not on my to-do list today. Digging a certain unfinished quilt project out of the closet in the spare room was. Imagine my chagrin then, when I went trotting in there and saw a crusty, dried up puddle of cat barf in the middle of the bed. And not JUST in the middle of the bed. In the middle of the QUILT that was covering the bed. A disgusting puddle of yellow cat-stomach liquid crowned with a hairball, surrounded by half-digested cat food.

I was not happy.

Some rules are no-brainers. If you want to experience Molly-love, it goes without saying that you should not barf on the quilts. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out. The OC is aware of this rule. At least I assume that he is since he has never, not even once, barfed on one of my quilts. The fact that he is, in fact, a rocket scientist probably gives him an edge over the cat. Come to think of it, I haven't seen him barf anywhere since the long-gone days of his exuberant youth. Speaking of which, we still have one exuberant youth in residence who has, on occasion, overestimated the tolerance of his stomach for certain liquid refreshments. But, mindful of the above-average need for Molly-love [and mollycoddling!] when one is feeling poorly, he has always managed to avoid voiding his stomach contents on a quilt. Wise move.

The cat is less wise. There are ample tiled surfaces around here on which one could, if so moved, barf. I will not be pleased one way or the other. Barf on tile is a minor annoyance. Easily mopped up. Barf on carpet is a pain in the petoot. But barfing on a quilt is a major infraction which will result in me giving the cold shoulder to the barfer for a prolonged period of time, equal to, or possibly longer than the time it takes me to clean up the mess.

That's why, today, I'm not talking to the cat.

Most days we are on cordial terms. If he's not happy with the amount and timeliness of his feedings, all he has to do is talk to me. And I take care of it. I'm agreeable like that.

And if his litter box is not cleared promptly of objectionable material, a word in my ear will set the world to fastidious rights. I'm agreeable like that too.

But barfing on a quilt moves you to the other side of the fence. To enemy territory. You become Felinus Barfus Non Grata. You might be made of stone for all the attention you get. Your most piteous yowling falls on deaf ears. Your efforts to ingratiate yourself are spurned. Doesn't she understand that when your stomach is in a knot you need the comfort of a quilt under your tail while you expel the cause of your discomfort from your interior? There's no comfort in a cold tiled floor.....And so she's been ignoring me all day. Oh sure, she fed me. But beyond that--- emotional starvation. No companionable chat. No sweet nothings in my ear, no crooning about what a great fellow I am and where would she be without me? None of that. Just grunting, and gnashing of teeth, and quilt hauling to bathtub, and splashing of water therein, and vigorous scrubbing and---could it be?? cat-cursing under her breath?? Not a blessed word thrown my way all day. Pray that her ire will run its course and we'll be on speaking terms tomorrow!


Stomper Girl said...

I hope cat barf doesn't stain. For the cat's sake.

meggie said...

I echo Stomper's thoughts. We don't currently have a cat.
But, I can tell you, dog pee in inappropriate places has much the same effect.
Female dogs don't seem to do that!
My next dog purchase will NOT be a male!!

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

WooWoo. As a squirrel, I am jubilant at the thought of a cat in the dog-house! Ummmmmmm.......sorry about the quilt. Hope the stain comes out.

StitchinByTheLake said...

In the words of Tom Hanks on "You've Got Mail" couldn't you forgive me for this one tiny thing? :)

Isabelle said...

Oh dear. Poor little barfer. And poor you. A lose-lose situation.

At least you got a funny post out of it, though.

Julie's journey said...

I have a small dog that ignores tiles and polished floors and goes straight for the only 2 rooms that have carpet. You have to wonder sometimes what goes through their heads.....

Suse said...

The comment from Julie reminded me of a blog post I made a year or so ago about the dog and the white rug.

As Isabelle said, at least you get a blog post out of it.

Look at his face. He's not the least bit contrite!

Ali Honey said...

Oh Molly what a bugger! You shouldn't have made it sound so funny cause you had me laughing ( rhymes with barfing! )

It seems reasonable to wash barf off in the barf. It will probably need lots of airing. Could the offending patch be replaced if it had to be cause the stain shows?

Here's hoping for the best outcome.

Thimbleanna said...

You're SO funny Molly! That cat picture cracks me up -- he looks just like my heathen cat Scruff. Who, conincidentally was in the same "cat" house as your cat last week -- right in the middle of our busiest late night week, he kept us up all night barfing all over the place. The next morning he upchucked a ribbon -- but had to be taken to the vet anyway 'cause he had us worried that there was more where that came from. Goofy, goofy cats!

Kacey said...

All you did was ignore him? I would have sold him to a Chinese Restaurant! Quilts are precious and come under the heading of endangered species. About washing quilts or fabrics for quilts.... have you ever used "Shout Color Catcher" in the washer? It really picks up any color that might bleed on other cottons. I use it in all my mixed colored loads, but my real love is using it for fabrics.

Molly said...

It was that or strangle him, and I didn't want Animal Protective Services pounding on my door!

I've never used Shout colour catcher---do you s'pose it'd work on icky stomach-acid yellow?

Anonymous said...

Blah, that is truly disgusting.

Kacey said...

Hi Molly---"Color Catcher" is meant for excess dye from fabrics. Yellow barf, however, is stomach contents plus yellow bile from the gall bladder (Used in the digestion of fats). Since it is an acid, you need a base to neutralize it. I looked this up online:
Sponge with warm water containing a little ammonia. If extensive, dampen and sprinkle with pepsin powder, leave half an hour, then rinse off. OR soak washable articles in a diaper wash/sanitiser container sodium percarbonate.
Hope something helps!

Tanya Brown said...

I didn't know your cat in college, much less a member of a fraternity!

sMC said...

goodnees me Molly can't a cat barf in comfort. Thanks for the giggle. Packet received will be writing to you later.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

This particular CATastrophe is unlikely to come up here, so to speak, because my quilts are either festooning the walls or neatly folded in closets. I learned the hard way, lest you consider congratulating me for my foresightedness.

Good luck with removing the cat puke, as well as with the back pain that will probably ensue from bending over a tub, dipping bits of quilt in cold soapy water for hours.