Monday, September 01, 2014

Blind in One Eye, Can't See Out of the Other



My excuse is I'm savoring life. Don't want to miss anything. If I maintain a sedate pace, I reason, I'll see it all, live it all, experience it all. But, in reality, my sedate pace means that I think it should be March while the calendar adamantly insists it's September already.

Today is Labor Day, summer's end, though summer will linger on here a few months longer. How did that happen? Was I not paying close enough attention? Long ago, September meant new books, the smell of leather, walking home in fading light, the chore of polishing school shoes every night, cozy fires, the smell of burning leaves.....possibilities. Now it means the temperatures will make a gradual descent to bearable figures and it won't be a penance, but once again a pleasure, to go for long walks.

Last week we saw our grandsons' first football games of the season. They are back in school already and were pretty excited about their first games and happy that we were there to watch. We sat in the bleachers in brilliant, late summer Ohio sunshine. Everyone seemed to know what was going on and I cheered manfully whenever it seemed appropriate to do so, though I had no clue what was happening on the field. I'm still puzzled, after all these years, as to why American football is even called football, but I was mesmerized nevertheless by those handsome little boys (#33 and #1) in their football helmets and crazy bulky padded jerseys and their little thin legs sticking out under it all.





Wait a minute, wasn't it just weeks ago that they were babies?

As you can see, I have no hope of a future in sports' photography. Not quick enough to catch the action shots. Blame that sedate pace mentioned above, besides being "blind in one eye and can't see out of the other". As far as I know, in spite of how it looks, nobody was injured here. There was a lot of tackling and subsequent rolling on the ground, which, if it had been me, would have required an ambulance and a visit to the hospital, but for these elastic little whippersnappers it was just a matter of jumping up, then doing it all again. I'm still no wiser about the whole purpose of the game.

Speaking of failing eyesight, I got in the shower the other day, leaving my glasses on the bathroom counter. I'd been out in the shade garden, clearing, so had twigs and the like caught in my hair. Twigs don't bother me, but when something fell from my hair and moved I was not happy. It looked like a rather large bug.

 I don't do bugs.

I didn't say "eek!" I'm a bit more dignified than that, but I did swat enthusiastically at the creature with a washcloth in an effort to subdue him and stop him from possibly moving onto my toes. I cornered him out of the flow of water and he sat still while I peered at him myopically, trying to determine if it would be safe to pick him up and eject him from the shower.....

That's when I realized "he" was a leaf.

Another time, quite recently, I washed my face, wearing, of necessity, no glasses. I patted my cheeks dry and reached for my tube of face cream. Removing the cap, I was about to squeeze some onto my fingers and apply it to my face when, just in time, I realized that what I had in my hand was the toothpaste tube.

Yes, getting older separates the sissies from the stalwarts. It seems to me that a sedate pace is the best plan.

An even better plan would be to sedate Time.





13 comments:

Marigold Jam said...

Brilliant! I know just what you mean about getting older. Can it really be possible you have grandchildren big enough to play that crazy game that is called football but which isn't football as we know it? I don't have any grandchildren but my friends the same age certainly do and they are mostly teenagers too! I swear Time speeds up with each passing year.

Elephant's Child said...

Oh yes. Applause from here too.
When did time start taking speed? Someone give him/her/it a tranquilliser.
Re the thing in the shower? A year or so ago I was fanged by a spider who joined me in ours. Not nice, not fair. I am grateful your bug was a leaf.

Ali Honey said...

Hi Molly,
How pleasant to read your blog again - I've missed your humour lately. In fact I seem to have missed your last post all together. I am going to try that salad as it looks and sounds fresh and yummy and I love nut butters so will try that too.

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

A colleague appeared uncharacteristically late one morning , apologising as she rushed in . She'd just used coconut body lotion instead of the hair conditioner and it took three doses of Head and Shoulders to rinse it all back out .
Meanwhile , I'm discovering that "growing old gracefully " is a lot more difficult to do than it sounds !

Relatively Retiring said...

Oh yes, me too with the momentary confusion and failing eyesight. I recently cleaned my teeth with E45.

Thimbleanna said...

Hahaha -- you're too funny! I'm impressed that you didn't scream and eject yourself from the shower -- that's what I would have done. It's always fun to dance around grunting and swatting at oneself, only to find that whatever is bothering you is an inanimate object. At least now I know I can blame it on my poor eyesight too. I hope you were here before summer appeared up here -- we've had the most beautiful four month long spring this year LOL. Good to see you checking in!!!

Molly said...

MJ, EC,S&S,RR --- Good to know there are others having trouble keeping up! Shortsightedness, confusion, befuddlement --- what a tasty menu for the declining years!

Ali --- and anyone who might have been interested in trying the beet salad (a few posts ago)--- don't bother with the pistachio butter. It tastes good but looks like the most unappetizing sludge and, if you mix it in as the recipe instructs, the colours turn to mud! Better, and easier by far, to throw in a handful of the nuts just before serving...

Anna --- Yes, we heard all about the beautiful, months-long Spring! Things were really warm for a few of our days there ----belated and brief summer!

Isabelle said...

My eyesight is quite good (for my age...) but I recently put clothes washing liquid in the dishwasher. And then had to scoop it out, not entirely successfully. It's the brain in my case that's failing...

Molly said...

Isabelle --- I have heard that it shrinks as we get older --- along with our bladders, our hair (that used to be so thick and now hangs in pathetic wisps,)our funny bones, our capacity for understanding things that are a breeze to our grandchildren.....Did I forget anything? Oh yes, our memories. Sigh

StitchinByTheLake said...

As the wife and mother of football coaches let me assure there will never be a clear reason for the antics on the field. Chasing a ball from one end of the field to another is just an excuse for hitting other people and not getting into trouble for it - a legal way of handling our aggressive tendencies. That being said, they do seem to have fun. This year, for the first time ever, there is a girl on my son's high school team. I'm not sure how I feel about that. As for the vision thing I've just ordered yet another light for my sewing machine. I'd have a spotlight on it except for the heat of the bulb. I have a very profound explanation for this ongoing event....as we get older God wants us to see less of this world and more of heaven so we have to quit looking outward and focus more on the inward. blessings, marlene

Wisewebwoman said...

It's good to see you write again.

Yes, I wish I could sedate time.

Truly.

XO
WWW

Lee said...

So very true...this year is going by all to fast. Only the other I wrote an article saying similar!

I wish someone remove the batteries for the clock...that might slow time down!

Secret Agent Woman said...

Ha! I've swatted away many a "bug" only to find it was something inanimate.

For me, fall is mixed. I love the crispness of it but dread the approaching winter.