Sunday, June 23, 2013

"Of Shoes--" and Shorts --"and Sealing Wax"

Walrus by kattenspul

Walrus, a photo by kattenspul on Flickr

I stopped at a local charity shop yesterday to check out their selection of men's ties, preferably silk. Not because I'm going to start wearing them but because they have amazing possibilities.....

I was standing at the tie rack, looking through the offerings, none of which were appealing enough to make me part with $3.50, twice the price as other charity shops. Though there was one very cute navy one with colourful fishes, 100% silk....but no, not what I was looking for. You can tell by the feel, if it's silk or not. Just to be sure, I check the label .... Not interested in polyester!

So there I was, wrapped up in tie inspection, when a voice pierced my consciousness. It was asking a question. I looked up, and sure enough, the voice was directed at me. I glanced around. Yup. He was talking to me. Or else looking straight at me while talking to himself. I decided to assume, for the time being, that he wasn't a crazy loon.

"Do these shorts look good on me?" He asked, giving me a hangdog look from his watery, colourless eyes.

He was standing just outside the changing rooms, sideways to me, so I could have a good look. The curve of his drooping shoulders was compensated for by the opposite curve of his overhanging belly, both of them echoed by the downward droop of his mustache. If I'm going to be accosted by strange men, could they at least be good-looking?

Is he serious, I thought? This man, whom I'd never seen before, wants me to look at his nether regions and tell him if he looks good in these shorts! I was getting definitely creepy vibes here, but I'm not an unfriendly person. I try to be helpful where I can, so, stifling a shudder....

"Yes," I answered." They look fine."

He seemed to need more.

"They're in very good shape," I offered lamely, adding silently....'Unlike yourself...They'd look a lot better if you lost the gut and stood up straight!'

Done with the conversation, I busied myself once again with the ties.

But he was on a roll now.

"I appreciate your opinion," he said, "You know, as an older person."

(Wow! He must have read "How to Win Friends and Influence People!")

"Not that you're old," he hastened to add!

"No problem," I said, "I've made peace with it!" (Now go away, please!)

"....But you're older than me. I don't value the opinions of people younger than me...Look what they've done to our gov'ment. We need to get that Obama outta there, get back to real American gov'ment."

Please! Just because I oblige with an opinion on the shorts, and force myself to look where I certainly never wanted to, doesn't imply permission to inflict your dumbass political opinions on me!

What could I do but give a non-committal grunt?

He muttered something unintelligible and I developed a single minded fascination with a floral silk tie, fingers mentally in ears, humming a silent "la-la-la-la-la!"

He shuffled back into the changing room.

And I beat a hasty retreat.

Conclusion: The world is full of an endless assortment of interesting, if sometimes creepy, people!


Elephant's Child said...

What are you planning to make with the silk ties? A bag - or something different. I once saw a skirt someone had made by joing the ties together. It looked wonderful and the wavy hem set it off beautifully.
I am a 'weirdo' magnet. People often stop to talk to me (at me). Sometimes strange, but never dull.

Secret Agent Woman said...

And I guess he was assuming that if you were older than him, you had to be politically conservative?

Yeesh. This is why I keep my head down in situations like that.

Frances said...

Silk ties? You have much classier charity shops than I have, Molly.

Relatively Retiring said...

He obviously knew a connoisseur of masculine style when he saw one.
I appreciate the photo!

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Difficult to know what else you could have done when he first asked you ... glared at him over your lorgnette ?

Thimbleanna said...

So. We're assuming you left empty-handed??? ;-D

dianne said...

what IS up with strange men asking stupid questions?!?

is it just me, or are ALL men strange ... and all of their questions stupid?!?

present company excluded, of course...

Pam said...

Well, at least you got a blog post out of it... .

I always worry about the silk worms... I can't think it ends well for them. Which is silly, because I don't suppose their lives are full of pith and moment anyway.

molly said...

EC---I've made a few already---little silk purses(but not from a pig's ear) like the one in the second photo! I love talking to strangers, I've made several friends that way. It's sometimes strange,I agree, but never dull!

SAW---Because there are so many retirees down here, assumptions, not always accurate, are made!

Frances---But silk is traditionally used for ties. Look harder Frances!

RR---Snort! There wasn't a whole lot of style in evidence! The photo was perfect though....

S&S---Not much into glaring...Besides, I'd left my lorgnette at home! I did feel a twinge of pity for him though, poor lonely devil.

Anna---yes, a hasty, empty-handed retreat!

Dianne---being quite partial to men, I'd have to say "No" to both questions! It must be just you!

Isabelle---I think as long as they're allowed to eat and spin they're probably "full of pith and vinegar" (slightly altered American phrase for being happy and energetic!)

Wisewebwoman said...

A good response would have been, I have eye problems, sorry. Your eye problem could always be his unpalatability, LOL.

As to ties, I once saw a fabulous quilt made out of them so get quilting, woman!!


Pauline said...

Chuckling over your description and accompanying photo, and admiring your ability to avoid stating your opinions out loud. The older I get, the more I fear I might become like that old man :(

molly said...

WWW---My sister, who is quicker of wit than myself, (younger too!) would have replied "You look absolutely fabulous Dahling---buy TWO pairs!"

Pauline---I just can't picture you with a beer belly and a droopy mustache!

Lee said...

Next time...tell the truth! That'll shut 'em up!! ;)

David Oliver said...

Okay, at the risk of getting flamed, I'm going to come to this guy's defense. Sort of. We men value a woman's opinion.

As to how he looked...
After being a member of various dating sites for years, I've come to the conclusion that neither men or women have any clue how they look to others. As further proof, I have a lady friend who says she can no longer buy clothes. She was always little, she sees herself as little and nothing fits now.

Dee said...

Dear Molly, my mom always used to tell me that variety makes life interesting. I think that's true but I find myself wanting sometimes to just shout out, "Enough already!" when someone says something about politics that seems so crazy to me. Of course, if I started talking about what I think, that person would think I was the crazy one. As the saying goes, "It takes all kinds" to create a vibrant nation. But, oh, I do commiserate with you! Peace.

Friko said...

I thought you were going to say: the world is full f interesting ties!

I’d have told him abut fat guts and shorts not being a good match.

molly said...

Lee---It's just that he had such a sad, dreary look about him, I didn't want to make him feel worse by burdening him with the truth! And what is the truth anyway? I have one idea of how I look, in my head. A recent photo introduced me to another version of how I look---the camera's! I much prefer the version in my head! So which is the true version?

David---Oops! The mustaches are hovering....Your comment reminds me of something I saw recently that claimed chocolate causes clothing to shrink! Maybe your friend is a little too fond of chocolate?

Dee---Some of my best friends, all older than me, have opposite opinions to mine. I don't foist mine on them, and when they start (because they're convinced they are right!) I try to steer them into less dangerous waters! And it is true that variety is what makes the world such an interesting place.

Friko---Now that you mention it, it is! I like men's ties. You don't see too many down here. Much more likely to see shorts, regardless of the body shape they're adorning! And it's mostly out of necessity...Otherwise people would be melting into grease spots all over the place---and what a mess that would be to clean up!

David Oliver said...

Molly you may be psychic. My friend is one of those people who LOVES chocolate. She eats it everyday. I do too most days but I'll pass on it any day for lemon meringue pie. :)

Also about the guy and the political stuff, I hate when people do that to me.

Should Fish More said...

Huh. I'm taking a different tack here....age and perceived sexual problems.

At my age, seeing 70 on the horizon, one thing I like is walking down the street in a city or town, and the women coming towards me do not assess me for danger. Most women do, I hope my daughters do. What I like now is they look at me and apparently don't classify me as an potential problem.

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

I am returning
and you make me smile with this post.
Silk ties
you gave me an idea
as some at our thrift shop
that has a lot of really nice
items from the wealthy
nearby :)