Monday, June 23, 2008

Will It Explode If I Touch It?

I had just put the coffee on this morning and was doing a little stitching---I’m in maniacal stitching mode these days---when the doorbell rang. Which necessitated a mad gallop to the bedroom, shedding sleeping garments en route and leaping into shorts and shirt, before opening the door, with my best, unruffled “Oh-I’ve-been-dressed-for-HOURS” air and accepting THIS

from the delivery man .

Have a good look.

Can you guess what’s inside?

I recently had a birthday. A big one. The kind that moves you out of one decade and into another. To mark the occasion the OC gave me a heart attack. Well, almost, when I came out of the den on the morning of my birthday, determined not to mope, and ran right into his smiling face and the bunch of roses he was clutching, in the living room. Which wouldn’t, under normal circumstances, be grounds for heart failure, except that I thought he was thousands of miles away in the frozen north! It was a very pleasant heart attack.

And my sister got me that brown box up there.

Have you guessed yet? Doesn’t take a rocket scientist……Even I know what it is.

He-who-barfs-on-quilts gave the box a thorough inspection. From every possible angle. Just to be sure no mice were being smuggled into his domain, don’t you know. Having satisfied himself that the box was rodent-free, he returned to the arduous tasks of washing himself, and quilt supervision.

And then it was my turn to cautiously circle The Box. I thought I might poke it experimentally from a safe distance with a broom handle……Then I thought I’d better hide it, in case The Bean saw it and tried to pressure me into opening it before I was good and ready. So, at the moment, it is safe in my closet.


Can you believe my sister? She got tired of hearing me moan about our current, almost dead dinosaur, and disagreed with the OC, who can’t imagine what I could possibly want with a computer of my own. He might have a point. The world would be a safer place if I stuck to pen and paper.

The truth is I’m terrified of that box. Just knowing Rise’d do something like that for me is present enough……..What I need is a crew of Rise, Lily and myself. We could do it together. Without any yelling. I keep telling myself that dumber people than me have figured out how to set up a computer. But I do wish it was as straightforward as, a toaster, say, or a sewing machine, or a mixer, or an electric toothbrush. If there was just one plug I’d be all set.

If you could look under the desk here, you’d understand my terror. There’s a thingamajig with GO written on it. It has a small wire plugged in one end of it and a thicker wire in the other end, and a blue light glowing to let the world know it’s doing whatever it is it’s supposed to be doing. Then there’s the long yoke that says PANAMAX, that has six, I kid you not--SIX more wires of various thicknesses plugged into it, and not one, but two little green lights glowing……And I have not the foggiest notion what any of those wires are for, or why, for heaven’s sake, there are so many of them!

I think I’ll go to sleep now. Sometimes I dream my way out of problems. And even if I don’t, maybe I’ll summon the gumption to at least open The Box in the morning!


meggie said...

O Molly. Happy Birthday. Don't be afraid of the new number- doesn't mean much anyway. You are as old as you feel. (Yes I know about the 90 year old days).
I wish someone like Tanya could be there to help you- she would know how to set it all up. I am a bit of a technical coward these days myself... & I am older than you!
You lucky sister you!

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday. What a thougthful gift. You'll be glad to see the end of the dinosuar days.

Stomper Girl said...

Oh Molly HAPPY SIGNIFICANT BIRTHDAY!!!! What a great present, what a great sister!! I wish I lived close enough to come help with set-up. And how nice of your man to surprise you, romance is alive and well!

from a fellow Gemini xxx

Thimbleanna said...

Oh Happy Happy Birthday Dear Molly! How funny you are. you supposed it could be a box of fabrics from Dell Fabrics??? ( 'Cause, it could be ya know. In the meantime, mix up your favorite concoction, take a big swig and RIP that box open! You can do it! And what a sweetheart Rise is!

fifi said...

Oh, Happy Birthday!!

What lovely presents! Don't worry, you can surely follow an instruction manual as well as the next person!

Do you have birthdays so close together! That is lovely too.

Have a wonderful time with your new things

Jess said...

Happy Significant Birthday!! (I love that expression!)

and HOW CLEVER of Rise to do this!

And she DEFINITELY wouldn't have sent it to you if she didn't think you were FULLY CAPABLE of installing it yourself!

(but if you're really scared about it, try calling your library. They often have classes to teach people to use the computer - it's only a small step from that to asking the person there if they could help you set one up!)

I'm tickled with OC. What a neat surprise!

Tanya Brown said...

Hooray and a belated happy birthday! (I may have wished you happy birthday at the time, but it's best to be on the safe side.) Ah, that OC. Seeing him must have been a wonderful surprise, but - argh! If it had been me, my loved one would have caught me with my finger in my nose or something.

Looks as though Rise and Lily came up trumps, and don't you deserve it? Open the box. There should be a manual in there which covers the basics, namely plugging in the power cord and turning it on. That's all you have to do each day - one reasonably straightforward thing. If you do one thing, before you know it you'll be all hooked up.

Today, turn the computer on and poke around in the folders. See what your bright, shiny new computer already has on it. If you'd like, you can also make a list of what you want to be able to do, such as get on the internet, print and connect to digital camera.

Tomorrow and the days after will be soon enough to find about the multi-tentacled yoke, the thingamajig which says go, and the machine which goes "ping!". And if you have your list handy, you can bash the Bean or the OC over the head with it.

thailandchani said...

Belated Happy Birthday! :)

The good news is that the computer is probably largely plug and play. When you plug it in, you'll boot it up and your operating system will already be there. It's just a matter of setting up your email. If you need any help, be sure to send me a note. :)

riseoutofme said...

Molly dearest ....RTFM

Is that what I think it is, BEHIND the box???!!!

Tanya Brown said...

As Thailandchani said, if you reach an impasse, feel free to drop a note. Working through things at a distance can be tricky, but it can be done.

Brooke - Little Miss Moi said...

Dear molly. I just wrote comments twice and managed to navigate myself away before they posted! Grrr. So I will just say - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

(the verification code is boowru - is it taunting me?!)

StitchinByTheLake said...

You are woman. You can do anything. Roar!

~ej said...

oh happy belated birthday! :)
and i got a box very similar to that one last week...honestly, it's plug and go...little directions on top! so much easier than years ago!
hope you get it up and running really soon, and enjoy your new toy :)

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Belated Happy Birthday, Molly! Many, many more.

I also just had a milestone birthday, and now have to adjust to ten years of my age beginning with a different number, just when I had gotten quite comfortable with the last one.

It sounds as if you had many wonderful surprises, which you so thoroughly deserve.

Happy birthday to YOU!!